fighting games or some shit idk
I was going to make this a tweet chain but I didn't want to pollute anyone's timeline so I guess I'll just post it here. Also if you're new here don't expect any structure to these or any schedule to any posts.
CCC3 was a fun event to be at for most people but it wasn't for me. That's not to take away anything from the event - Jackson, JB and everyone who helped set up everything and ran brackets did a awesome job and I have nothing but the utmost respect for the team putting the event together. It mostly was not that great for personal reasons and I guess here is where I divulge into them.
Having my most difficult exam the Wednesday after CCC weekend did nothing for my anxiety leading up to it. I really sincerely want to be done with my degree that I am now spending my 5th year studying on (partially attempting a double major, partially being awful), and I want to focus on not having to do any more study than I have already set myself to do. This made me not actually practice much of anything leading up to the event. I suppose you could argue I just shouldn't have gone, and when the exam schedule came out I heavily debated removing myself from the event, but having fun playing games is how I deal with being stuck in mental ruts, so I thought it'd be good for me to still go regardless, and essentially just be a casual player messing around in less important stuff. This is why I didn't enter DBFZ - there was going to be no way I could meet the standards I set for myself in that game, so I'd just inevitably get upset when I dropped anything.
This approach really didn't work out for me. I entered Melee, Tekken and Guilty Gear, and ended up placing 7th, 25th (given 44 entrants I think it's the lowest placing?), and 2nd respectively.
- 7th in Melee I guess isn't too bad but I didn't make any upsets. Playing good Melee when you're so new to it and trying to keep composure and not dropping everything when you are dropping everything is an insanely difficult task. I don't think I played "good Melee" any time, but partially because I'm still new to it and partially because I didn't have much practice time going into the event it's a bit excusable. At the risk of sounding like a bitch I really didn't feel happy losing to Te, especially given that I threw away the game vs his Marth on YS, and I still feel stupid losing to his Fox. Being able to beat his Falcon I guess is cool since that's his "main" but ugh, losing in a final hit final stock game 5 scenario just feels bad to me.
- 25th in Tekken isn't remotely surprising. I really don't play that game much and everyone at this point who plays it is a killer. I am somewhat interested in playing Tekken more seriously after exams for a few months just to see whether I can improve at it but it's still up in the air. Playing Tekken is like taking a university course in trying to learn proper things to do in scenarios, and I already have 4 courses next trimester.
- 2nd in Guilty Gear is a heartbreaker. Thanks to Ajith dropping out I only had to beat Te (who put me in losers) and Bank. Beating him in losers finals was relieving, but I didn't feel that confident going into Grand Finals despite pressuring myself to win the whole thing. Bank's Slayer has gotten way better since the last time I played him despite missing all his Dead on Time inputs, and playing without a gameplan for me is like a fish out of water. I didn't drop much stuff, but general lack of proper gameplan hurts a lot
My losses should motivate me to play more, like they have every time in past events, but this event I just feel demotivated from everything. I have been spending a lot of time playing Skullgirls, solely because it's a game that works well on my laptop so it's easy to lab anything I have any questions about, and has good netplay so I don't want to die every time I play online, but none of that work mattered this event, and this ties into the main reason I felt bad at CCC.
It really does feel like the games I want to be good at the most (GG, SG, VSAV - Melee this doesn't really hold true for) have no realistic audience moving forward. There is no chance of them being main game status ever again and I really cannot be bothered running side events and having to chase people across the venue just to play their bracket match, especially since I'm not going to nats and travelling in general is less appealing to me now. There's no clout to chase from being good at these games aside from the occasional "Oh that's cool man". Having general respect from being good at a game is really cool to me because otherwise no one gives a fuck about you in the community, and I guess I won't have it from just playing dead games so I should learn to respect that. I really only have two choices - either just play what I want to and not go to events and feel like my work into dead games means nothing in these events, or suck it up and play Tekken or any other major game as my main game or something trying to chase that sweet clout. I'm not sure which one I should go for - only time will tell really. Getting better at most games that aren't SG also involves playing lots of delay netcode netplay, which is just not fun for me, so I'm not sure what I should be doing.
CCC3 was a fun event to be at for most people but it wasn't for me. That's not to take away anything from the event - Jackson, JB and everyone who helped set up everything and ran brackets did a awesome job and I have nothing but the utmost respect for the team putting the event together. It mostly was not that great for personal reasons and I guess here is where I divulge into them.
Having my most difficult exam the Wednesday after CCC weekend did nothing for my anxiety leading up to it. I really sincerely want to be done with my degree that I am now spending my 5th year studying on (partially attempting a double major, partially being awful), and I want to focus on not having to do any more study than I have already set myself to do. This made me not actually practice much of anything leading up to the event. I suppose you could argue I just shouldn't have gone, and when the exam schedule came out I heavily debated removing myself from the event, but having fun playing games is how I deal with being stuck in mental ruts, so I thought it'd be good for me to still go regardless, and essentially just be a casual player messing around in less important stuff. This is why I didn't enter DBFZ - there was going to be no way I could meet the standards I set for myself in that game, so I'd just inevitably get upset when I dropped anything.
This approach really didn't work out for me. I entered Melee, Tekken and Guilty Gear, and ended up placing 7th, 25th (given 44 entrants I think it's the lowest placing?), and 2nd respectively.
- 7th in Melee I guess isn't too bad but I didn't make any upsets. Playing good Melee when you're so new to it and trying to keep composure and not dropping everything when you are dropping everything is an insanely difficult task. I don't think I played "good Melee" any time, but partially because I'm still new to it and partially because I didn't have much practice time going into the event it's a bit excusable. At the risk of sounding like a bitch I really didn't feel happy losing to Te, especially given that I threw away the game vs his Marth on YS, and I still feel stupid losing to his Fox. Being able to beat his Falcon I guess is cool since that's his "main" but ugh, losing in a final hit final stock game 5 scenario just feels bad to me.
- 25th in Tekken isn't remotely surprising. I really don't play that game much and everyone at this point who plays it is a killer. I am somewhat interested in playing Tekken more seriously after exams for a few months just to see whether I can improve at it but it's still up in the air. Playing Tekken is like taking a university course in trying to learn proper things to do in scenarios, and I already have 4 courses next trimester.
- 2nd in Guilty Gear is a heartbreaker. Thanks to Ajith dropping out I only had to beat Te (who put me in losers) and Bank. Beating him in losers finals was relieving, but I didn't feel that confident going into Grand Finals despite pressuring myself to win the whole thing. Bank's Slayer has gotten way better since the last time I played him despite missing all his Dead on Time inputs, and playing without a gameplan for me is like a fish out of water. I didn't drop much stuff, but general lack of proper gameplan hurts a lot
My losses should motivate me to play more, like they have every time in past events, but this event I just feel demotivated from everything. I have been spending a lot of time playing Skullgirls, solely because it's a game that works well on my laptop so it's easy to lab anything I have any questions about, and has good netplay so I don't want to die every time I play online, but none of that work mattered this event, and this ties into the main reason I felt bad at CCC.
It really does feel like the games I want to be good at the most (GG, SG, VSAV - Melee this doesn't really hold true for) have no realistic audience moving forward. There is no chance of them being main game status ever again and I really cannot be bothered running side events and having to chase people across the venue just to play their bracket match, especially since I'm not going to nats and travelling in general is less appealing to me now. There's no clout to chase from being good at these games aside from the occasional "Oh that's cool man". Having general respect from being good at a game is really cool to me because otherwise no one gives a fuck about you in the community, and I guess I won't have it from just playing dead games so I should learn to respect that. I really only have two choices - either just play what I want to and not go to events and feel like my work into dead games means nothing in these events, or suck it up and play Tekken or any other major game as my main game or something trying to chase that sweet clout. I'm not sure which one I should go for - only time will tell really. Getting better at most games that aren't SG also involves playing lots of delay netcode netplay, which is just not fun for me, so I'm not sure what I should be doing.
Comments
Post a Comment