Blood drains from my jugular as my brain leaks into the drain and the cops are calling the party off

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Guess I'll get some sort of closure from this but even then does it really matter? What is even the point of trying to comfort myself here? I don't even know if I feel grief or am I only feeling something that I'm supposed to, and even then I didn't cry or necessarily want to hide or anything like that. I just lived like normal with the knowledge that I'll never see my paternal grandfather ever again. Nor will I ever see my paternal grandmother or my maternal grandfather, seeing as I've missed their funerals too. It's been so long that I can't even recall which grandparent I lost first. Might've been my maternal grandfather (Daddy, no not that kind you sick fucks). It was around a year after we came back from our 2 week trip in India. My mom got news that Daddy was really really sick and she really wanted to go visit him. On the way back from dropping her off at the airport we got news that Daddy d

I have always imagined self-improvement to be this abstract concept that is difficult to understand and difficult to explain. After all, if you know what to do to get better at something, you should just do it right? Then why do people struggle with it? Why does any self-improvement, whether it may be physical, mental, emotional, or skill based, feel so difficult at so many points in your life? I think I have tried putting my thoughts on it years ago, but I can't find where it is, so now with puberty past me, I shall aim to write about it once more! Let's explore and see what we find. One day years ago, in a Tekken Tag 2 stream chat I had the epiphany that, "You are only 50% on your journey to improve." The logic behind it was that you can only realise so much about your play that you can improve, and given what you can do currently you're only half way there, but the more you improve the more you realise you have to improve, and thus you are forever stuck

I was going to make this a tweet chain but I didn't want to pollute anyone's timeline so I guess I'll just post it here. Also if you're new here don't expect any structure to these or any schedule to any posts. CCC3 was a fun event to be at for most people but it wasn't for me. That's not to take away anything from the event - Jackson, JB and everyone who helped set up everything and ran brackets did a awesome job and I have nothing but the utmost respect for the team putting the event together. It mostly was not that great for personal reasons and I guess here is where I divulge into them. Having my most difficult exam the Wednesday after CCC weekend did nothing for my anxiety leading up to it. I really sincerely want to be done with my degree that I am now spending my 5th year studying on (partially attempting a double major, partially being awful), and I want to focus on not having to do any more study than I have already set myself to do. This made

At the risk of prsenting myself as someone who cares about Digibro, listening to him talk about his light novel while taking a shit taking a break from working on my assignment is probably not the best time and place to get a creative outburst, however sometimes it happens and there is nothing you can do to stop it. It reminds me of capturing a tsunami or controlling diarrhea - trying to capture it is difficult and after some time it is all settled and the rumbling isn't quite the same anymore. I had originally thought of only the tsunami metaphor but much like diarrhea itself, the diarrhea metaphor just came out of nowhere and has taken me by surprise. These outbursts are relatively rare for me, as it has been a long time since I seriously wanted to work on my creative writing skills, and me actually going for my tablet and typing this out is even rarer. I used to be the biggest stickler for writing with a pen on a paper, and I think it was purely due to not having enouh experien

It has been 15 minutes since I have been hiding behind this closet, and they have proven ineffective in trying to find me so far. However, I know this to be a fruitless endeavor in the long run, so before I am disposed of I can prepare a memento of my life. We first met each other three weeks ago. I was with my group of friends in a store when he walked in, and from the moment he lay his eyes on me he knew he wanted me like he wanted no one else. We both wanted companionship; he had just gotten over his last relationship, and I was gladly single and ready to join a long-lasting journey with a special someone. From that day, we were inseparable. I helped him with all his school notes, his tests, his exams, his random note taking, all of it involved me, and for that I was grateful. All I ever wanted in my life was to be of use to someone, and for him to share an equally deep appreciation for me was something I cherished very deeply. Every day he would take special care

Be prepared for a lot of winding and twisting and turning. It may come as no surprise to anyone, but I think Skullgirls is one of the most fun and deepest fighting games I have ever come across. Every matchup is a unique challenge, whether it may be any combination of solo, duo, or trio teams fighting either one of themselves, and also the different assists for the duos and trios change approaches to the neutral and combo game rather significantly. It manages to provide unique experiences almost every time I play the game, and I appreciate the game for it. It may then come as a surprise to at least some people that I don't currently actively play Skullgirls, and have not done so ever since SXU2018. I like to call myself "retired" or "casual" as a gag however I do see it somewhat as such, being that I don't practice the game as much as I used to back in the day when I was playing the game a lot and putting in a ton of effort to get better. I think the